• A review of the first season of Battlestar Galactica spin-off, Caprica
• A discussion of why FlashForward is likely to fail
• The first part in my X-Files retrospective
• LOST, LOST and more LOST!!! Recaps of “Happily Ever After,” “Everybody Hates Hugo” & “The Last Recruit,” “The Candidate,” and a warning to disgruntled fans to cool it

• A dissection of why I love the videogame Mass Effect 2 so much
• My disappointment with the new MGMT album, Congratulations
• A review/recap of the latest LOST episode, the Richard-centric “Ab Aeterno”
• An overview of what’s going on in my life right now, including a new paid gig and a potential two year excursion to Singapore

Just know that from now on I’ll only be posting new stuff to alexhilhorst.com, so check there regularly for new content. Coming up later today is my review of the first half of Caprica’s first season. And in the near future you’ll also find writing samples (novels, short stories, screenplays) and videos of all my student films.

In many ways the disparity of wealth in the film industry directly reflects the disparity in the United States as a whole. Millions of people work in the film industry across the world, but a very small percentage receive the majority of the wealth it makes. It’s the same case in the US, and no one’s doing anything about it. Everyone votes for Obama because his campaign advisors were geniuses who realized if they plastered the word “Change” across his face liberal fools everywhere would vote for him without question, and then what does he do right after being elected? Bails out the banks. Sure, he needed to do it in order to prevent the world from devolving into some hybrid of Waterworld and Mad Max, but with no constraints? The banks just got free cash and now everything’s back the way it was before, corruption, ridiculously high bonuses and all. And now, instead of focusing on the country’s number one problem- THE FUCKING RECESSION- Obama decides to put all his eggs in one basket and pursue health care as if reforming that system will somehow solve all of the nation’s problems. What difference does it make if people can get government-subsidized healthcare WHEN THEY CAN’T EVEN FIND A FUCKING JOB?!!! And don’t even get me started on Afghanistan… it’s as if Obama never studied its history and realized THAT IT’S TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO CONQUER IT. Alexander the Great literally died while trying to invade Afghanistan. HAVEN’T YOU PLAYED RISK, OBAMA?!!! FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!!!!

Dude, stop toking up and FIX THE FUCKING COUNTRY!!!

But Alex, you ask, didn’t you vote for Obama? Why yes, I did. But only because my first choice, Hilary, lost in the primary, and an America controlled by Sarah Palin seemed like my vision of the apocalypse. So I was willing to accept the alternative. But that’s the last time I vote for the Democrats in any kind of federal election. Obviously I won’t be voting for a Republican ever, but the Democrats have finally proven their critics right: they’re a bunch of corrupt, spineless, moderate pussies. And I’m sick of voting for two sides of the same coin. It’s not my fault American citizens are so retarded that the thought of having more than two candidates gives them small brain aneurysms. But from now on, I will vote for a third party in every federal election until a third party actually becomes a contender, which will be never, so I’ll be voting for Nader and the preserved Head of Nader for eternity. Maybe I’ll mix it up a bit, and vote for a new party each year. Communist party one year, socialist party the next, Cthulu Party 2016!! It doesn’t make a difference anyway, as voting in this country is completely pointless. I don’t want to sound like a radical nut or anything, but I think you’re blind if you don’t see that nearly every decision and policy our government makes is influenced by big business. We’re living in a dystopian future, people!!! We’re only one step away from the mega-corporation you see in movies like Alien.

But I digress. A LOT. Back to why the job market sucks so much. Well, due to the fact that I can’t find any kind of gainful employment with any respected companies, or use my film skills to make profit, I’ve been looking at the retail and service industries as of late. At first I went for retail, cause I figured it wouldn’t be that shitty and with my degree I should have no trouble getting such an easy position. WRONG. Turns out that with a few exceptions, most retailers are only interested in hiring you if you have retail experience. This was most insulting to me at GameStop, which not only looks like the chillest retail environment of all time, but is run by the nerdiest collection of dudes I’ve ever seen. I understand needing prior experience for let’s say, a construction gig, or anything that requires even the remotest semblance of skill. But retail? Brosef, I have a COLLEGE DEGREE. Do you honestly think my lack of retail experience will be a liability? I already know all there is to know about videogames, love talking about them, like talking to people and I can do simple arithmetic. If you honestly believe it will take me longer than one day to learn how to use a cash register than you’re a fucking retard and I should have your job.

Apple, Gamestop, Barnes & Noble & Starbucks have all rejected me. So has USC’s graduate screenwriting program. My gut is telling me NYU isn’t going to accept me either. To be honest, I’m at a total loss. Every day seems bleaker than the last and it’s hard to find motivation when you’re surrounded by so much failure. Even if I could find the initiative to reignite my passion for cinema and writing, it’s hard to keep it going when the future of the planet seems so destined for cataclysm. Meanwhile, I’m overqualified for any kind of menial minimum-wage job, but underqualified for any kind of work done in an office. I have a slew of internships under my belt as well as several references, but since none of them lasted for a few months and I never received an annual salary, I might as well have no experience at all in the eyes of employers. I’m a skilled editor fluent in FinalCut Pro, AVID, Compressor & some ProTools, but need to learn After Effects, PhotoShop and a bevy of other programs before I can even attempt to find work as an editor, and even then it’s unlikely I would ever be paid. I have a list of phone numbers for the production houses of various films and TV shows, but they only seem interested in hiring production assistants they’ve either worked with in the past, or who have taken the Mayor’s Office PA training program. The Wasserman Center for Career Development is utterly & insultingly useless, going so far as to have a “job fair” for unpaid internships. TIsch Career Development is mildly better, but in the grand scheme of things there doesn’t seem to be much they can do to help me. I’m submitting scripts to festivals and fellowships, but since all I’ve got is a somewhat original horror film and a TV pilot that accidentally happened to have the same mythology as Fringe, I don’t have high hopes for any wins.

The more I search the more frustrated I become. Filling out arbitrary questionnaires designed to tell if you would be a good drone at an AMC Theater would be infuriating if it wasn’t for the drug and background tests some companies (like Best Buy) demand their applicants go through. It’s practices like these that make you realize we live in a world where we no longer have any real rights. I understand the thought process behind these checks, and it makes a little more sense for criminal background (but not really). But no matter which way you slice it it’s discriminatory. Criminals who’ve paid their dues have just as much a right to a job as a normal citizen, and as long as a worker isn’t doing drugs on the job it’s none of their employer’s goddamn fucking business. This country is a shithole pretending to be the leader of the “Free World.” We claim to have a legal system, but it’s constantly bogged down in bureaucracy and procedure, so much so that innocent people are often sentenced to death, while white collar criminals get off scott free. We have the right to vote, but as I said before what difference does that make when candidates are handpicked by the rich and designed so as to be relatable to the widest possible demographic? We claim to be a land of the free, but we are not free in the slightest. The lives we lead, while better than many of the peoples of the world, are still the antithesis of freedom. How can we claim to be a democracy when so many of our minorities still do not have the rights that they are owed?

The world is going to shit, it’s as simple as that. If you’re an optimist, you’re just naive. What’s most distressing is that if you look back on history, the world has always been a swirling cesspool of shit. Old people may tell you “things were better back in my day,” but that’s just because they’re senile and nostalgic. Things have never been better, if anything, things were way worse just a mere thirty years ago. But if you really think about it, despite all the scientific achievements mankind has made, our society has still to progress very far. And when that realization sinks in, you can see how it’s hard to hold onto hope.

“Dr. Linus” was at its heart, a character-driven episode and it was a damn fine one at that. While the flash-sideways was interesting, it wasn’t as compelling as what was happening on Island, especially the last five minutes when Ben apologized for his sins and was accepted as one the Good Guys by Ilana. As my friend Jacob pointed out (not the god-like keeper of the Island, a real person), never before had we as an audience empathized with Ben to such a degree. I’ve felt for him before- he had a shitty childhood, got shot by a crazy, time-traveling Iraqi, is funny-looking and watched his daughter die in front of him. But learning that his central issue was one nearly everyone can relate to- a desire to belong, to be a part of a society and be accepted- was truly touching.

Now for some theorizing:

Widmore

While I correctly predicted Widmore’s return to the Island, I’m not exactly sure what his angle is. I feel he is now one of the good guys and will be working with the pro-Jacob group. But he showed up in a submarine filled with military-type dudes and neglected to announce his arrival to Jack, Ilana and co. What his “plan” is I don’t know, but I imagine it will be equal parts sinister and for the greater good. Widmore’s obviously not a nice guy, but he once served Jacob and I doubt he’s there to provide “Evil Incarnate” with submarine support.

Jacob’s Touch

So yeah, all signs are pointing to Richard being a Black Rock prisoner. But what’s this about Jacob’s touch being a “gift,” presumably the gift of eternal life? Does this apply to everyone Jacob touches? If so, it would mean Jack, Hurley, Kate, Sayid, Jin & Sun will stop aging at some point and live forever provided they don’t seek suicide via unstable dynamite. What about Ben? He was touched by Jacob after stabbing him, does that count? Is it a literal touch, or is it a special kind of touch (I know, that sounds dirty) that Jacob only gives to people every once in a while? It’s all very ambiguous, and knowing LOST it will never be fully explained. If it is, I’d venture to guess we’ll get an answer in March 23rd’s Richard-flashback episode “Ab Aeterno,” which means “eternal life” in Latin.

While it wasn’t the focus of the episode, the scene between Richard and Jack in the Black Rock was excellent, and I’m loving the new Jack. I get the impression that he doesn’t quite believe the idea that he’s special and has a purpose and all that, but since he survived a plane crash, appendicitis, helicopter crash and hydrogen bomb detonation, he must feel a little invincible. And he obviously doesn’t care about his own well-being anymore, so he’s got just a little bit of the crazy in him.

The Island’s Role in the Flash-Sideways

The scene between Ben and a cancer-stricken Roger was so quick I almost didn’t catch the big tidbit of info we learned about the flash-sideways version of the Island. It put to rest my idea that the Island had been underwater for a very long time- it seems to have only been sunk since the 70s. However, the scene did seem to hint at my idea that it wasn’t Jughead that destroyed the Island, as both Ben and Roger were still alive, while in the other universe they were still on Island at the time of the Incident. It seems the Incident may never have happened, at least not in the way we’ve seen it, and Roger & Ben either left the Island after or before the event. Either way, it seems Sayid never shot Ben, which makes sense considering the fact that Oceanic 815 landed safe and sound in the alternate reality. If it never crashed on the Island, then our heroes never would have travelled back in time and detonated Jughead, Ben never would have been shot, etc., etc. Something else must have sunk the Island, and that something may turn out to be the biggest mystery of the season.

Hydra Island

Just something to ponder: why exactly does Smokey want to go to Hydra Island? Do the means for his escape lie there, or is he just trying to get off the main Island, perhaps so he can blow it up/gas it and kill anything left there? Also, don’t forget that last season, Smokey hinted to Richard that he wanted all of the other survivors of Ajira Flight 316 dead. That’s something I doubt Sawyer or Kate will be down for, so I wonder how long their time with the Man in Black will last. Sayid & Claire, though… well… they’re frakkin’ crazy.

This is NOT your father's "Star Trek."

Since I was writing about J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek in my Top 10 Movies of 2009 post, I decided to upload the review I wrote of it on Facebook last year. The review was part of a pointless countdown of all eleven Star Trek films I was doing at the time, the rest of which I’ll put up when I feel like it.

Read the review here.

Now for the list:

1. District 9

Directed by Neill Blomkamp

What, you were expecting something else? I struggled for a long time to decide whether to put D9 or The Hurt Locker in the #1 spot. I originally felt The Hurt Locker was more deserving because a) it dealt with real life b) it had a deeper, more poignant message and c) it had already garnered so much critical praise. But at the end of the day it came down to one thing: originality. I’m not saying The Hurt Locker isn’t original, it is, but it’s a war movie, and an Iraq War movie to boot. D9 presents a universe unlike any other. Like every other film it’s influenced by those that came before it, but in many ways it tells a story that no one’s ever told before. Humans never subjugate aliens! Aliens subjugate us! By turning this trope on its head, Neill Blomkamp created something incredibly unique, entertaining, and at times, even touching.

The best thing about the film is that it’s actually three different movies for the price of one. It starts out like a faux-documentary, then turns into a David Cronenberg horror film, and then climaxes in a balls to the wall action blowout in the final act. What I don’t think a lot of people realize about the movie is that it’s actually really hilarious, and is sometimes simultaneously comedic and horrific. That’s a hard feat to pull off, but Blomkamp does it, thanks in large part to the terrific acting of Sharlto Copely, who’s Wikus van de Merwe is one of cinema’s greatest bumbling anti-heroes. If more science fiction was like this the world would be a better place. Way to go, South Africa. Making me proud of my heritage.

Read my review.

2. The Hurt Locker

Directed by Kathryn Bigelow

To be honest, on second viewing I was not as impressed with The Hurt Locker as I was the first time I saw it. My mother made an insightful observation as to why: the first time you see this film it’s surprising. It’s not what you expect; it doesn’t follow the mold of other war films, even war films set in Iraq. It doesn’t try to create some high-handed moral message about the horrors of war, nor is it really a tale of the damage combat does to one’s psyche. Sure, all three of our central characters face mental breakdowns at some point in the film, and there’s no doubt The Hurt Locker portrays war as a terrible fact of life. It’s just not the point; it’s not what the film is about. The film is just about war. It tells it like it is, and thus ends up being something more similar to Black Hawk Down than Saving Private Ryan.

The film is not without its flaws, but I like it for several important reasons. For starters, Jeremy Renner’s character and performance are awesome. I know he doesn’t represent the vast majority of bomb defusers in the army, and yes he can be hard to relate to because he’s a bit of sociopath, but good characters don’t always have to be likable characters, and the fact that he’s in it just for the adrenaline rush was something I found really appealing. Second, the film has great action sequences, particularly the Barret .50 cal sniper scene in the desert. And lastly, Bigelow manages to create a war film that is exciting, thought-provoking and dark, but doesn’t leave you feeling depressed and overwhelmed once it’s finished. At the end of the day, it’s just a really great story set in one of the worst places on Earth.

3. Up

Directed by Pete Docter

This movie gets the #3 spot because it made me cry. Straight-up. I’m not ashamed. No other film on this list gave me that kind of visceral emotional reaction (Where the Wild Things Are came close), and the fact that it’s an animated film shows just how powerful it is. Up puts more heart into its opening sequence than most movies have throughout- in fact that opening sequence is amazing because it’s almost like its own little silent film. And it’s heartbreaking, because even though it’s animated it’s telling a story that’s very true to real life. People fall in love, and then inevitably one of them dies. While it’s just a short sequence and a very small portion of the film, it really touches you, and also does a great job of setting up the character of Carl Fredricksen.

Of course, the rest of the movie is pretty great too. While it doesn’t have the same level of whimsy as WALL-E, Up still exemplifies what PIxar does best- blending adult drama with universal comedy so that both children and adults can enjoy their films. In many ways, Up actually feels like the first film they’ve made aimed at adults, even more so than The Incredibles. That film was about a family, and as such there’s a brother-sister dynamic that is very relatable for kids. Up is about an old dude looking for happiness at the last stage of his life, so it’s really not a film made for kids. Which is probably why Pixar threw in a little Asian boy, talking dogs and a wacky giant bird. But hey, that’s stuff’s awesome too. Dug’s the bomb, yo.

4. Avatar

Directed by James Cameron

As you probably know, I was very skeptical about Avatar before I saw it. I’m a huge Jim Cameron fan- I’ve seen all of his movies, with the exception of Xenogenesis (great title, btw) and Piranha Part Two: The Spawning (not so great) and love them all (yeah, even Titanic. You got a problem with that?). But there was just something about all those tall, blue Native Americans running around, combined with the fact that the military’s design looked identical to Aliens and Halo, as well as the revelation that the 3D would still require glasses, that just rubbed me the wrong way. Thankfully, Jim proved me wrong, and once again reasserted himself as the King of the Blockbuster.

Before I praise the film, I should note that the plot, dialogue, and some of the acting is, truth be told, pretty weak. I mean, Jim called his unattainable resource that is the key to all Earth’s energy woes “unobtanium.” That’s pretty sad, bra. You couldn’t come up with a better name, or you know, a better trope? And of course the unobtanium motherload just happens to lie under the Na’vi’s giant treehouse. C’mon, man… try a little harder. And I seriously don’t get why Sam Worthington is such a big action star now- he can barely act and just looks like a slightly less handsome Tahmoh Penikett. But all that aside, Avatar is amazing.

The story may be cliché, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck you in. It even tugs your heartstrings a couple times, albeit in a very big, cheesy, old-Hollywood kind of way. If you look past the cutting-edge technology, the film feels very old school, mostly in the way it chooses to tell its story. But let’s stop beating around the bush- the real reason this movie rocks is because it’s a visual feast for your eyeballs. It’s the Last Supper of visual eyeball feasts. You may think the Na’vi look stupid or that the movie is just a whole lot of hype, but trust me- Avatar is a work of art like none you’ve ever seen, and you’re really missing out if you don’t see it on IMAX 3D. No movie, not even Star Wars or The Lord of the Rings achieves what it achieves. It creates an entire new world and draws you in. For two and a half hours, you’ll actually feel like you’re on Pandora… which in reality would not be a good thing, as literally everything on that planet can kill you.

5. Paranormal Activity

Directed by Oren Peli

A lot of people seem just as skeptical about this film as they are about Avatar. I think this trepidation stems from the fact that Paranormal Activity greatly resembles another low budget horror success, 1999′s The Blair Witch Project. It’s true that TBWP is mostly just angsty twenty-somethings yelling and arguing with each other as they trudge through woods, but rest assured- Paranormal Activity makes TBWP look like Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood in comparison. I know the poster looks like it’s lying- this can’t be “one of the scariest movies of all time” you say! But believe me- it is. This movie is fucking terrifying. I saw it in a very empty theater with one friend and I felt unnerved and uneasy for the rest of the day. It doesn’t get in your head the way say, The Shining does, but it definitely stays with you.

The concept for Paranormal Activity is just brilliant, and the parts they don’t really go into in the trailer are what make it even better. The distinction the film makes between a ghost and a demon is great, because let’s be honest- ghosts aren’t really that scary. But demons are, especially if they’ve been haunting your girlfriend her entire life and more or less want to take her soul. And even though the majority of the film is just a static nightvision shot of the protagonists’ bedroom, the subtle sight gags the filmmakers employ are just brilliant. Like any good horror film, Paranormal Activity wouldn’t be anything without superb sound design, which it has in spades. If you still don’t believe me, consider this: I don’t like ghost stories that much, but Paranormal Activity scared me more than The Shining, The Exorcist or The Thing. So yeah, it’s pretty scary.

6. Up in the Air

Directed by Jason Reitman

For some reason (probably because of the hype) I was expecting this movie to be the best of the year. It’s not, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t one of the better ones I saw. The truth is, it’s nothing all that special. Its script, structure, shooting & editing styles are all very classic Hollywood, and while its story is pertinent to current events, it doesn’t tackle them in any particularly original way other than hiring real people who’d been laid off for certain interview sequences. But it’s a really solid movie with really fantastic performances. All three leads are great, especially George Clooney, who once again proves he’s one of the country’s finest actors. If there’s anything that really stands out about the film it’s its tone- it starts off as a hilarious black comedy, then transforms into a romantic comedy for the majority until devolving into a really dark, depressing tale of mid-life crisis. To make that work is both an impressive feat of writing and directing, and Jason Reitman deserves some kudos.

7. Star Trek

Directed by J.J. Abrams

Even though I watched Alias and LOST, I was never a true J.J. fan until this film came out. I always felt like he was getting more credit than he deserved. J.J. tends to pen the pilots for new TV series, then hand them over to his buddies while taking all the credit. For instance, anyone who isn’t a diehard LOST fan would think J.J. is not only the creator but the current showrunner. In reality, all he did was co-write and direct the pilot, as well as a handful of other eps. He’s even stopped running Fringe. And don’t get me started on Mission Impossible III. That film has to be the most critically acclaimed heap of garbage this side of Crash. But the man really flexed his muscles on Trek and did the impossible in the process: he made Star Trek cool. This 2009 outing was great because it was both true to the original series and characters, and fresh, exciting and new. If you want to hear me blabber on about it some more, read my review.

8. Where the Wild Things Are

Directed by Spike Jonze

Probably the weirdest film on this list (yeah, even weirder than District 9), Spike Jonze’s adaptation of the children’s classic is still poignant and touching, as well as a masterpiece of art direction. A bizarre tone, lack of a definitive story structure and slow pace prevented it from being the masterpiece I had hoped it would be, but it’s a great film nonetheless. The voice acting is top notch, and the emotional finale almost brought me to tears. The film’s greatest triumph is the way it portrays childhood, and the way it made a 23 year old like me empathize with its spazzy protagonist, Max. Even if your parents aren’t divorced, I think everyone can relate to the frustration one feels at that age.

Read the review.

9. Moon

Directed by Duncan Jones

This film wasn’t quite the 2001: A Space Odyssey-esque mind trip I was expecting, but as character-driven sci-fi films go, Moon was outstanding. I would expect nothing less from the son of David Bowie. I don’t want to go into the plot too much so as not to ruin the big twist, but I will say that it’s a fairly original yarn and that you don’t really see the twist coming. Sam Rockwell is an amazing actor, and this is probably the finest performance I’ve seen him give. I mean, the movie’s pretty much just him; the only other character he interacts with really is a robot voiced by Kevin Spacey. It’s just nice to see a sci-fi film that doesn’t rely on extensive special effects or ridiculous action scenes to tell its story. Although, seeing as District 9 is my number one movie of the year, I guess I sort of prefer that style. But still, Moon is a nice change of pace and is definitely worth seeing.

10. Drag Me To Hell

Directed by Sam Raimi

I realize a film called Drag Me To Hell isn’t what you’d expect to find on the top 10 list from a Tisch graduate. But god damn if this wasn’t some of the most fun I’ve had at the movies this year. After the debacle that was Spider Man 3, it was nice to see Sam Raimi go back to his goofy horror film roots. Drag Me To Hell is rated PG-13, but still manages to be just as scary as Paranormal Activity… okay, not really. But it is scary, and WAY more gory. It’s classic Raimi, and feels like it deserves a spot right next to Evil Dead II. It’s funny, gross and terrifying all at the same time. Some of the gags in this film are just absolutely ridiculous (I recommend the director’s cut for extra ridiculousness). Like Oren Peli, Raimi realizes that the scariest villain for a horror film isn’t a ghost, a monster or a zombie- it’s a demon. Nothing’s more scary than a practically invincible hellspawn that serves Satan and wants to devour your soul. Well… maybe a crazy gypsy woman.

Hello

Glad to hear from you, concerning the position! I am after an Administrative Assistant urgently to run errands until I return back to the United States by the second week in May. I am unable to meet up with you to talk about this job in person as I am currently away working on a program in Scotland.

1. You must be detail-oriented to perform your tasks effectively and Proficiency with computers is required, accuracy and meticulous work regime is required.
2. You will be prepared in advance to do my business shopping.
3. You will receive my packages which will be shipped to your address or to a post office near you and then you can pick it up at your convenience. The content of the packages are ancient antiques, art works and personal letters, You will be required to open the packages, to check content and condition.
4. The packages will then be shipped to my clients. (You don’t have to pay for the shipment. All expenses and taxes will be covered by me)
5. You will work between 15 and 20 hrs a month, variable depending on amount of work needed and your work rate.

The pay is $350.00 per Week. regardless of hours worked, but i envisage no more that 8 hours in any week. I need your service because I am constantly out of town. I Buy Companies that have financial difficulties and I am trying to start an Art Gallery here in Scotland. I will return to USA in May so this process will be on going till then. If you don’t mind, I will meet up with you when I return and then we can talk about the possibility of making this long term.

Well, let me know if you are able to handle the position. I will email you the list and pictures of what to shop for when I am ready. No heavy packages is involved! You can do the shopping at any nearest stores. You will be shopping for ancient antiques and art works. I will provide you my personal UPS account number for Shipping. All you have to do is provide my account number to UPS and shipping charges will be applied into the account. I will provide clear set of instructions for each task I need done as well the funds to cover them. If I were to mail you money to do my shopping plus up front payment for your service, where would you want it mailed to? How should your name appear on the paycheck? Could you provide me with the following details below:

Your Full Name:
Your Full Address with apt # (NO P.O.BOX)
Your Cell/mobile phone number
Your Home phone number
Age:

I will be look forward to hearing from you soon!

Bullshit. Total bullshit.

Sayid finally goes off into the deep end... literally

All my fears about LOST’s sixth and final season have now been assuaged. No matter what happens, no matter how crazy or ridiculous the twists and reveals are, I’m on board. To put it in a working man’s terms: last night, LOST kicked ass. Gone is the slow-burn pacing of episodes 2-4, in fact as my buddy Nate pointed out after we watched last night’s episode, “Sundown” almost felt like four different LOST episodes crammed into one delicious package. You had so many storylines going on at the same time but they all felt managed- there was the flash-sideways plotline, Sayid & Dogen’s story, as well as Claire & Kate’s awkward reunion. This is the kind of pacing I felt the show needed to have right out of the gate, but now that it’s sped up I actually appreciate the slower and more upbeat episodes that preceded it. “Sundown” was so dark and epic that it would have been inappropriate to put it earlier, and we wouldn’t have gotten the chance to know Dogen and Lennon before Sayid committed double-homicide.

Those are stupid fucking glasses, Lennon. Prepare to die you hippie bastard.

While we didn’t exactly get the bevy of answers last week’s promo promised, we did get a pretty upfront explanation for what the Monster is and how he works. Gotta hand it to LOST for having a Japanese guy describe their primary antagonist as “evil incarnate” and making it work; Dogen’s character has always been in danger of slipping over into the realm of cheesiness, but the show is a wealth of great acting, and Hiroyuki Sanada is no exception. Now that Dogen is gone I look back on his character with fondness. I think he and Lennon were killed off at the right moment- we had just begun to figure out who they were and Dogen literally told Sayid his backstory before getting drowned in the ex-Fountain of Youth. As neither seemed to have any idea how to stop the Man in Black, their characters had more or less outlived their usefulness, but I think it’s awesome that this show introduced two of the LOST universe’s most important characters only to kill them off four episodes later. It’s a gutsy move, but one that worked- with Dogen gone not only is the Temple useless, but as a viewer you get this ominous sense of dread, like nothing can stop the Monster now, and there’s no one left (other than Jacob’s ghost) to tell our heroes what to do.

One has to wonder if Dogen was telling the truth; if Sayid had stabbed MIB before he spoke, would he have died? I wonder if we’ll ever know, but it’s just as plausible that Dogen only wanted to send Sayid to his death. I don’t think so, though- Dogen suspects Sayid’s infected, that he’s susceptible of becoming one of the Monster’s thralls like Claire. So I doubt he would expect the Monster to kill one of his potential allies. No, I imagine if Sayid hadn’t hesitated, LOST’s supervillain would have dissipated into a cloud of smoke and disappeared. I’m not so sure my earlier idea of how infection works is still accurate, though- it does seem like Sayid was given a choice to be good or evil, and that he chose to let his internal scale dip into the black. I think what’s most frightening is the idea that the Monster has such a powerful influence that even a sentence can seduce a mortal into joining his side.

Nate felt very adamantly that the show was a pretty on the nose allegory for the Bible, with Ben as Judas, Jacob as Jesus, etc., etc. The Monster certainly exhibits many of the characteristics of Satan- he can change his shape, is practically invincible and can bend men to his will with words alone. He tempts with empty promises, but is clearly at his core, evil. I know the show’s throwing a lot of smoke and mirrors our way, and has intentionally written characters like Jacob, Richard, Dogen and Lennon to be untrustworthy and sinister so that the line (or scale, I suppose) between good and evil is unclear. But I think at the end of the day, it’ll become clear that the Monster really does want to kill every living thing on the Island, and he’s just twisting our characters like pawns to make his job easier. As I wrote in an earlier recap, he probably also needs some of the numbered characters (already has Sawyer and Sayid) to help get him off the Island. Nate also thinks Sayid will ultimately redeem himself, and that he’s right when he calls himself “a good man.” But I think Sayid finally turned to the Dark Side, and as any Star Wars fan knows, there’s only one way to escape it. If Sayid does redeem himself it will have to be through a fatal sacrifice, but I feel it’s more likely one of our other heroes will be forced to put him down.

Overall, a really fantastic episode. A+. It was a really dark installment but it didn’t leave me feeling depressed, although I am both at a loss for what is going to happen next, and afraid for what few characters have yet to join the Monster’s side. I mean at this point it’s Hurley, Jack, Richard, Ilana, Miles, Frank, Ben & Sun vs. MIB, Sayid, Claire, Sawyer & all the surviving Others. And god knows what’ll happen to Kate and Jin, who I guess are more or less captives at this point. “Sundown” was a really great closer for the first act, and leaves me craving more in a way none of the season’s other eps did. Next week’s installment, entitled “Dr. Linus” is presumably a Ben flash-sideways episode, and I’m a little worried he might not survive the outing. I mean, the narrator said he would “face his demise” next week- that doesn’t sound too good. Ben is one of those characters I just can’t see surviving until the end of the series. I mean, what do you think Ilana’s going to do to him when she finds out he killed Jacob? But I hope his arc is resolved in an extra-satisfying matter, as he is one of the series’ most memorable characters and deserves it.

Now for some theories:

The Flash-Sideways are also Flashforwards

This is a theory that’s been floating around the internet and one that I agree with. What made me come up with this idea on my own was the moment where Jack notices the cut on his neck. It seems like such an important moment, and it’s odd that Jack wouldn’t remember where it came from. Nor have we, the audience, seen it yet, unlike the appendectomy scar. I think the reason our flash-sideways characters seem subtly aware of their previous existence, as well as each other, is because they’re actually the same people we’re watching run around on the Island right now. By the end of the series our heroes will change the past, and their consciousnesses will somehow be transferred to the new reality, although all memories of what transpired before will exist only in their subconscious. I think Jack’s bloody neck is a wound we have yet to see, maybe even a fatal one that he receives in the original timeline, a final vestige of the life he once lived.

And Jack’s Ex-Wife Is…

Come on, everyone on the internet’s sayin’ it, and I know you’re thinkin’ it, too. JULIET. On the one hand, it seems unlikely since none of our characters seem to know each other in the alternate reality. But it just seems so perfect… and if it was just Sarah all over again they wouldn’t have made it so ambiguous. After all, she was afraid of having a child with Jack in the original timeline and ended up becoming pregnant by another man. And of course, there’s David Shephard’s bright, blue eyes. C’mon… you know you’re thinkin’ it…

Who Does Jacob Want to Bring Back to the Island?

The name written by 108 on the lighthouse mirror (which was also crossed off) was Wallace, which could be a new character, but is more likely a pseudonym for someone we’ve already seen or just simple misdirection. It could be Desmond, especially since Eloise Hawking told him the Island “wasn’t done with him yet.” He’s such an integral part of the show I would be surprised if we didn’t see him appear in the original timeline at least once more. But my bet’s on Charles Widmore. I know, I know- he tried to kill everyone on the Island, Smokey-style. And even if he didn’t explicitly tell the mercenaries to commit a massacre, he did hire Keamy, possibly the most insane merc you could ever find. But his turn last season, when he seemed genuinely interested in keeping Locke alive and getting him back to the Island to fight in the war, seems to suggest something he’s a changed man. It’s possible he was working for Smokey and wanted to send Locke back to the Island so the big bad could take his form, but we’ve been told the Monster’s been trapped and I doubt he’s had any means of communicating with the outside world. More likely Jacob came to Widmore personally and told him he would have another chance to see the Island before he died, as long as he did as he was told. Widmore has money and resources that could come in handy in the current situation, although as Smokey seems totally invulnerable I don’t know what good it would do. Nonetheless, Widmore still seems like the most likely candidate (see what I did there?).

I have been looking for steady, paid work since April 2009 with little to no success. The best gig I managed to wrangle during that time was a really awful internship for a start-up that digitized people’s old home movies and photos. It wasn’t really a company- just a middle-aged dude and a Brooklyn-Italian lady he used for tape transfers. My job was to deliver/pick up tapes, film reels and photos from lazy/rich people’s houses in upper Manhattan and Westchester, in an old and crappy station wagon that was neither registered as a commercial vehicle nor possessed commercial plates. This meant it was practically impossible to drive in Manhattan, or anywhere really, without getting a ticket for standing in a no-standing zone. As my “boss” was only willing to cover two tickets for me, which I figured was because he was barely turning a profit as it was, I decided to quit after I met the quota. There was more drama to my departure which I won’t go into, and to avoid getting sued or something I won’t give the name of the company. But let me tell you, you DO NOT want to get your videos, especially your film reels, transferred by this dude. Since he doesn’t have a company, just a computer w/ FinalCut, a scanner and some tape decks, he outsources film reels to CostCo, who at one point spliced several different reels from several different clients together. He also often left people’s tapes and videos in the back of the car overnight, just begging some hobo to smash his ancient rear window and take someone else’s precious memories.

This is just one of the many problems with our country’s job system that I have encountered over the last year. Considering the state of the economy, you’d think people would be playing it safe, but for whatever reason there seems to be 2 billion new small businesses and start-ups popping up everyday. In most cases, the central idea for the business is decent, but is most likely already being done by someone else who has more money and resources (as was the case with the digitizing gig). Even if there isn’t competition, it seems like so many of these small companies start up without the funding they really need to succeed. I’ve had interviews with lots of these kinds of people, and I’ve noticed trends. They’re relatively young, usually somewhere between 20 and 40. They’re very passionate about their very mediocre idea and think it’s going to revolutionize the world. They’re not particularly intelligent, but appear to have recently come into a large sum of money, which may or may not actually be from their wealthy family. I once got a call for an internship from a guy who was 20 years old. 20 YEARS OLD. How dumb is this kid to think that I, a graduate of Tisch who studied film and TV, would want to work for little to no money for someone who’s not only younger than me, but felt compelled to mention that a hot chick had just walked by him on the street while interviewing me over the phone?

The worst travesty these small business owners commit is the little to no money they pay their fresh, young employees. In fact, I’ve found these people specifically seek young people (I’ve been asked my age in follow-up emails, which is technically illegal) because we are of course equal parts naïve and motivated. We’re dying to work anywhere, for anyone, and our desperation means we’ll work for crumbs. In fact, it seems employers both big and small seem to assume that US citizens aged 18-28 don’t really need to be paid. Internships are rarely paid, and when they are it’s usually minimum wage, which at $7.50 an hour is nearly impossible to live off of in NYC. The unpaid internship is one of the most unjust institutions in this country, and the worst part of it is that no one’s talking about it. Sure, 20-somethings are all complaining to each other about how much it sucks, but when’s the last time you saw CNN cover unpaid internships? Or heard Obama talk about it? It’s just an accepted fact of life, an evil that none of us can change, and one we must simply learn to live with.

It’s even worse in the film industry. In certain cases, I understand why crew members can’t be paid, although I’m shocked anyone works for free. That’s probably just because I don’t find production work that fun, but I know a lot of lovable lunatics who find working for 15 hours non-stop w/o pay to be the bees’ knees. Small, independent productions and short films simply cannot scrounge up a large enough budget to reimburse everyone who works on it, and that’s understandable. What’s not understandable is why feature films also hire unpaid interns and production assistants. I worked on the 2006 Bruce Willis vehicle 16 Blocks as an unpaid intern for the locations department and didn’t even get credited. I don’t blame any of the guys from the locations department because they were all awesome and it’s not their fault the producers didn’t put room in the budget to pay the handful of interns they hired. But maybe if a sizable portion hadn’t gone directly into Mr. Willis’ pocket, then there would have been room for me to get minimum wage. And it just seems so insulting to me when employers say, “Oh, there’s just no room in our budget to pay the interns.” WHY DON’T YOU JUST NOT PAY JENNIFER ANNISTON 30 MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS?!!! SHE’S NOT EVEN A GOOD ACTRESS!!!! How can you even look someone in the eye and say that to them, knowing it’s simply not true?

Which brings me back to my original point: employers think 20-somethings are idiots. They really do. They think we view the world as a rainbow and daisy-covered fantasy that’s always hunky-dory, and that just getting hired is compensation enough for us. How did we get here? How do we live in a society where people work but are not compensated? Is there any way to define that other than servitude? Employers often say the experience is compensation in itself, especially since putting the internship on your resume will allow you to get jobs in the future. Well if that was true then maybe I wouldn’t complain about internships so much. I would never condone them, but maybe I’d keep my mouth shut if all the experience I’ve culled since I took my first internship in 2005 had actually amounted to something other than more unpaid internships. If you include the bullshit delivery job, I had seven internships during my four years at college and not a single one lead to a full-time paid position or anything other than a recommendation, recommendations that have yet to land me a paying gig. So at the end of the day, what was the point? Granted, I did gain some valuable experience from some of the better ones, namely the locations department gig and my eight-month stint at Pressman Films, for which I am grateful for. But I can’t help but feel like all these promises of valuable experience and recommendations are just lies designed to perpetuate a system that keeps young, college-educated citizens working for free. I mean, when’s the last time you took an internship where the description said “possibility of turning into a full-time paid position in the future” (and they ALL say that) and actually meant it?

This post rant ended up being way longer than I expected, so I broke it up into two parts so that people would actually read it. Coming up is the second half, plus more LOST theories and my Top 10 Movies of 2009. Also, alexhilhorst.com is nearing completion…